


Sunshine

by Carofine



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, M/M, Suicide, also uh..., because tbh he wouldn't do this shit if he was in character, but i like to make myself feel emotional pain, idk how the fuck to tag shh, kinda ooc naruto, let's be real here, this is narusasu ish??????????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 02:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3834508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carofine/pseuds/Carofine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic; you are my sunshine.  Sasuke can't lose Naruto, especially not to somebody else. Really short</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunshine

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You’ll never know dear how much I love you_

_Please don’t take my sunshine away_

“It’s just that when I hear you talking about bearing all that hatred on your shoulders.  I can… I can feel the pain too.  It hurts so much.  I can’t ever ignore it.”

 

_The other night dear, when I lay sleeping_

_I dreamt I held you in my arms_

_When I awoke dear, I was mistaken_

_So I hung my head and cried_

Tan arms wrapped around Sasuke. filling him with a warmth inside he couldn’t get anywhere else.  He smiled, leaning back into his boyfriends chest.  He could feel the little puffs of air coming from the blond behind him.  He could hear the little soft breaths he was taking.  He began to fall asleep.

Then he woke up.

Naruto wasn’t there.  There was no tan arms wrapping around him, no quiet breath in his ear.  Sasuke could feel something wet streaming down his cheeks, and for the umpteenth time he cried, screaming into his pillow, just wishing, hoping, praying for Naruto to appear and take him into his arms and tell him everything was okay.  That everything was just a horrible nightmare.  

Naruto didn’t come.

He never did.

 

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You’ll never know dear how much I love you_

_Please don’t take my sunshine away_

 

Sasuke was sitting, alone on the docks, the docks where he’d always sat as a child, looking at the lake.  Suddenly he felt a presence beside him.  He looked over to find Naruto looking back at him, a small smile on his face.  “I’m really glad you’re back Sasuke.”

It was meant to make him feel happy, but Sasuke couldn’t take it.  He leaned into the blond’s shoulder and cried.  It was all too much.  He just regretted all they’d missed so much.  He’d give anything to go back, anything to undo all the hurt he’d caused Naruto.  He just cried and cried.  God, he probably looked so weak.  Naruto didn’t do anything but just rub his back and whisper to him, “Shh it’s okay.  It’s okay.”  Sasuke didn’t know why he was crying.  He just was.  “I’m so sorry Naruto.  I’m so sorry I did this to you.  God, if I could I-”

“Shh.  It’s okay.  You’re here now.  You’re all I need.”  

Sasuke nodded, but he was still crying into Naruto’s shoulder.

“Naruto.  Do you still think about dying with me?”  Sasuke stammered.  Naruto looked surprised.  Sasuke wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t anymore.  He was surprised Naruto had ever cared about him to begin with.

“Of course I do.  You’re my best friend.”

There was that stupid word again.

_Friend._

Sasuke hated that word.

 

_I’ll always love you and make you happy_

_If you will only say the same_

_But if you leave me and love another_

_You’ll regret it all some day_

 

Naruto and Hinata seemed so wrong together.  So weird, so clashing.  Sasuke couldn’t help but regard the Hyuuga with disdain.  She’d taken what was supposed to be his.

Not that Naruto seemed to mind.

Maybe he’d never minded in the first place.

 

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You’ll never know dear how much I love you_

_Please don’t take my sunshine away_

Naruto never talked to Sasuke anymore.  He was too caught up in fawning over Hinata.

 _“We’ll die together.”_ The words echoed in Sasuke’s mind.  He’d been such an idiot.  Such a fool for ever once believing the dobe could ever love him, had ever loved him at all.  He had reveled in the fantasy that Naruto cared about him, needed him even.  That he was still important to somebody.  Clearly that had been a lie.  Everything Naruto said had been a lie.  

 

_You told me once, dear, you really loved me_

_And no one else could come between_

_But now you’ve left me and love another_

_You have shattered all of my dreams_

Sasuke and Naruto we’re having a picnic in their old training field.  The one where they’d first became ninjas.  Naruto ate in a revolting manner, talking with his mouth full, getting sauce all around the edges of his mouth.  “Chew with your mouth closed usuratonkachi.” Sasuke sniffed.  

“What!?  Bastard, I will have you know that you’re talking to the future hokage!  You’d better mind your manners teme!”  Naruto swallowed the food that had been in his mouth.  Sasuke rolled his eyes.  

“Hn.  Dobe.”

“ARGH! That’s it! Don’t make me-”

“Don’t make you what?” Sasuke rose a single brow indignantly.

“Don’t make me do this.”

Naruto was suddenly inches from Sasuke’s face, his arms on either side of him.  He was practically crawling over him.  Sasuke felt himself freeze.  As the blond’s lips pressed against his he was filled with a warmth he had never felt before, and he wanted more.  He pressed back against the blond, only to open his eyes to a silent and empty room, with him lying in bed.  No Naruto, no picnic.

Just loneliness.

The real Naruto was with Hinata.  The real Naruto, who’d apparently never cared for him.  Not really.

Sasuke wished he could go back to sleep and live in his dream world, but the tears were already coming and one they started, he was never able to sleep for hours.

 

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

_You’ll never know dear how much I love you_

_Please don’t take my sunshine away_

 

Naruto hadn’t talked to Sasuke in ages.  Whenever Sasuke approached him he was always with that stupid girl, Hinata.  Naruto didn’t care when he left the village.  Hadn’t told him to stay, hadn’t held him close and told him it was okay, that he was forgiven for all the mistakes he’d made.  That he was right there, that they were friends.  Sasuke was hurting, hurting more than he ever had before, and Naruto was fine. _Liar._ He’d been lying when he had said he could feel Sasuke’s pain.  If he really could, he would be in agony right now.  Yet whenever Sasuke saw him, he was happy and content.  Or at least he looked it.  Sasuke had started dating Sakura.  He didn’t like it.  He didn’t like her.  Hell, he didn’t even like girls, not as anything more than friends.  But it made Sakura happy, and that was something he supposed.  

And then Naruto had proposed.

And Sasuke had left.

Naruto didn’t even seem to care that Sasuke was gone.  It hurt.  It hurt Sasuke more than anything that all the times he’d found comfort in the fact that someone out there truly loved him he despite all the stupid things he'd done he had been kidding himself.

  
  


He didn’t say goodbye to anyone.  There was no one left to say goodbye to.  And soon Sasuke found himself wondering, what was the point of it all?  Nobody loved him, nobody cared about him.  His sunshine, his light, was gone.  He might as well just join his brother

_“I’ll bear the burden of your hate and die with you.”_

Sasuke heard himself chuckling emptily as he ran the chidori’d katana through his heart.  The pain he felt now was nothing.  It was nothing compared to the pain of being abandoned by the one and only person that had ever mattered.

Sasuke slumped over the katana, dead.

 

_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me_

_When I awake my poor heart pains_

_So when you come back and make me happy_

_I’ll forgive you dear, I’ll take all the blame_

Sakura knocked on Naruto’s door.  When he opened it she was absolutely ashen, and there were tears in her eyes.

“A recent team found Sasuke’s dead body during a mission.”  She blurted out, before beginning to sob again. 

Naruto stood there.

And stood there.

Stiff and rigid.

And then there were tears rolling down his cheeks.  But no sobbing.  Just tears.  He didn’t have the energy to sob.  He didn’t even have the energy to cry.  But he was doing it anyways.

They had found a note on the body.  A suicide note.  As Naruto read it he felt himself collapse.  How could he have missed it?  How could he have abandoned him.  He would give anything to go back, but it was too late.  He’d ruined everything.

“Sasuke… I’m so sorry.  I’m so so sorry.”

_Dear Naruto,_

_you’re a god damn liar_

 

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are grey_

You’ll never know dear how much I love you

Please don’t take my sunshine away

 

Naruto stood over the grave of Uchiha Sasuke.  He came here every single day, stayed for hours at the very least.  He stayed and talked to the grave as if Sasuke himself were there.  He apologized a million times over, and it was never enough.  It was never enough.  This was all his fault.  He was an absolute piece of shit, a scumbag.  This was his fault.  How could he have ignored his best friend.  How could he, the only person that Sasuke truly cared about, just have forgotten him like that?  And now it was too late.  There was no undoing what he’d done, but unlike most, Naruto would never accept it.

“Hey Sasuke.” Naruto said to the gravestone.  He came here almost every day now.  “The divorce finally went through.  I thought you’d want to know about it.” Naruto whispered. He paused before continuing.  “I would give anything for you to come back.” He whispered.  “I would destroy the entire village if it meant I could see you again. I’m so sorry Sasuke.  I… I never really told you I loved you.  I never actually did.  Because I didn’t want to believe it.  I didn’t want to be in love with another man and so I just tried to push you away.  And it was such a horrible thing to do and now you’re gone and you’ll never hear me say I’m sorry.”  Naruto was crying now.  “I have nightmares.  I have so many nightmares, of you stabbing yourself and it’s all because of me.  And I yell at you to stop but you don’t you don’t!  God Sasuke I never realized I needed you so much until you were gone.  You were the only thing that kept me going and now you’re gone.” He began to yell. “Please just come back!  Come back I’m beggin you.  I’m so sorry, I’ll never be able to say sorry enough!  I just…  I need you back Sasuke.”

_Liar._

_“Die with you.”_

Naruto looked up.

 _“With you.”_  
He could hear his own voice ringing in his head.  He knew what he had to do.

 

Naruto and Sasuke. Yin and Yang.  Sun and Moon.  Together even in death.

As Naruto felt the blood oozing out of the stab wound in his chest he couldn’t help but smile a little bit.

“I’ll see you soon… Sasuke.”

Naruto’s body slumped over the knife that still had his hands wrapped around it.

 

_Please don’t take my sunshine away..._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHHAHA AI'M SO SORRY. If it makes you feel any better I was sobbing the whold time I wrote this. Also, suicide is not a good idea. I get that you can't just say "I'm not going to commit suicde" and be done with it, but there's almost always an alternative. I wrote this at three in the fucking morning while sobbing so please excuse any grammar mistakes. Leave kudos and comment! Thanks!


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